Thankful for Caregivers

Thankful for Caregivers on Thanksgiving Day

November is not just Thanksgiving month, but National Caregiver Month. This Thanksgiving, we want to take a moment to remember the many caregivers in our lives who sacrifice so much to assist a loved one. Our Mitchell and Friends community has many such caregivers—including Estafania, big sister to Andrea. Andrea was diagnosed with Mitchell Syndrome in 2020. With medical treatments, she’s stable and loving life. But she couldn’t do it without her family. In gratitude to caregivers everywhere, we thought we’d introduce you to Estefania and learn more about what life as a caregiver is like. She took time out of her busy schedule to answer some questions…

M&F: Introduce yourself. Who are you and what do you do?

My name is Estefania, but I also got by Estef. I’m big sister to Andrea, a Mitchell Syndrome patient. We live in Pomona, California—a city n Los Angeles County. I oversee economic development projects for the California Community Foundation.

M&F: You’re a caregiver for Mitchell Syndrome patient. Who, and how?

I care for my sister Andrea. My sister first exhibited symptoms of the disease and lost her ability to walk as a teenager. She was first diagnosed with Mitchell's Syndrome in 2020. We spent months in and out of the hospital for the next three years. Caregiving involved extensive round-the-clock support for her care between me and my mother. Thankfully, because of her treatment at the care of her neurologist, who is in contact with doctors who cared for Mitchell Herndon (patient #1), my sister has remained stable.

Caregiving for her nowadays still involves constant care, but she has become more independent within her limitations. In the evenings, after relieving my mother from caregiving, my sister and I eat dinner, catch up on our shows, and update each other on the latest while doing her night routine. On the weekends we check out community events or explore new places.

M&F: What’s challenging about being a caregiver? 

One of the challenges about caregiving is maintaining a balance between pouring out your care for a loved one, while remembering to refill your cup for your own care. It can be physically and emotionally draining at times. Another challenge is seeking a support system that understands the challenges and blessings of caregiving. I often find that parents of young children can easily connect over caregiving responsibilities for their little ones. But we don't talk as often about caregiving responsibilities for adults who also require care. 

M&F: Are there any rewards to being a caregiver? Like what?

I feel immensely blessed to care for my little sister. She is my favorite person and teaches me so much about compassion and patience. She also schools me on the best anime shows and manga, obscure animal facts, and greatest throwback songs. When I feel drained, I am reminded of the blessing it is to care for someone as cool and special as my sister. It's also been rewarding to find opportunities to connect with people in different ways too, as a result of caregiving for my sister. I chat with new parents about staying up through the night comforting our loved ones. Or I connect with coworkers about obscure music and movies I would probably never know about if not for my sis. And, I always have a willing sidekick in my sister for weekend adventures around town.

M&F: What advice would you give to your fellow caregivers?

In moments of exhaustion and despair, please take a moment to breathe, give yourself a hug, a remember that if there is ONE thing you can control in a chaotic situation, it's your response to that situation. Please give yourself and others grace in times of struggle.

M&F: It's important that we "care for the caregiver." How do you think people can support the caregivers in their lives?

The greatest gift to me as a caregiver is when others are compassionate, patient, and understanding of my situation. It fills my heart when a friend or loved one helps my sister and me navigate through accessibility considerations when going outside. We also love food! If you feed us, you love us. 🤗